Hi all
Would love some feedback.... the other 2 parts of my triad live together as housemates and I am fighting constant feelings of being left out. There was talk about me moving in but now I have been told the house gets too messy when there are three of us and granted it is only a two bedroom place. They each have their own room.
I am fighting with my emotions right now... sexually it's good when we get together but it is really hard to try not to wonder (no matter how they try to tell me there is not intimacy when I am not there) ... I know if I was in the same boat I may not be able to hold myself back. But also intimacy is not just sexual... it is sharing the morning coffee, doing the dishes together, going to family functions.... etc etc
I suppose there is always the possibility I could invite one of them to spend time with me by myself too.. but I live an hour plus away.
Or am I just feeling hormonal? A bit sad and sorry for myself. Not criticising the way things are unfolding but trying to find my mental/emotional position on this. Maybe I am not built of the stuff needed to be the outer third of a triad. We had always said it would be equal but it just doesn't feel like it is. Adore them both but maybe my emotions run too far away with me.
I am finding it very hard to put this into words even in writing... so not sure how I wouold go about discussing it. But I need to I know. But ultimately it comes down to what's going on in my head.
Confused rambling....
Well things have moved on somewhat since I last blogged and there are now three of us as happy as buttons... or peas in a pod... it's all very new and fresh but so so good. I feel nothing but joy as do we all.... yes Cloud Nine has 3 new residents.
It all came left of field and very unplanned as the best things often do but he we are right now..... wishing everyone else luck and love... so nice to be able to post happy things and not hoide.
Oh details... we are FFM ...and the other girl is jsut so lovely I am a bit smitten already! No jealousy jsut feeling like I have two best friends that I have intimate moments with....ahhhhhhhhhhhhh
Velvet xxxx
Well after typing this entry on my blog yesterday I decided to set up a membership on a well known free dating site in Australia.... there are several profiles advertising for girls to join couples in threesomes....so I outlined that infact my friend and I were looking for a permanent relationship with an intererestd intelligent, eloquent lady etc etc quite clear that we were hoping for something more purposeful and longer lasting than random threesomes.
24 hours later I have gone to the account to see if it has been cleared by this website and it has been made inactive.... banned I would say!!!!! Well where is the justice in that?...... Is it fine for the 20 or so other proffiles that are looking for random hookups and other profiles such as mine that will be eventually and hopefully coming clean about their being an existing partner already in the relationship once the women/men are interested and hooked? But not for a well written, intelligent profile that tells the truth right from the beginning!? Now I really wish I had done a word document so I could cut ande paste it here for all to see how decently it was all stated.
So now back to my original question are there any non-sleazy dating websites that will allow for triads?
Velvet
xxx
Hello all
How great to find a site that seems to be accepting of what I am pretty sure is my new lifestyle..... one that just doesn't seem to quite get off the ground.
As with most 41 year old women I have had the tradtional relationship (however never married so not COMPLETELY traditional) with one man (who I left 9 years ago) and a child as a result. I have been single for the last (nearly) nine years. Never to click with a man for various reasons. Over my whole life whenever (and not many as I have been pretty minimal with my relationships) I have had a mini heartbreak I have swayed to longingly thinking of being with a woman. To be honest I have wanted to be with a woman since I was a teenager but had never sidestepped down that path.........
Until I connected with an old friend who seems to have been in my life forever... a male.... we became intimate and have struck up probably the most amazing friendship I have ever had in my whole life. We are honest, exclusive, loving, fabulous friends, have terrific communication, travel together and just totally GET each other. We are completely exclusive to each other sexually however have what we thought was rather an unusual twist to our relationship but are slowly discovering is more common that we had thought. We are looking for another female partner.
Now here are the hiccups...... and I am sure we are not alone... we can't seem to find another female partner unless we go online. And then there is the often sleazy path of online dating. We are not into swinging (but horses for courses... not judging anyone who does!!!); we don't dress each other up in leather and dominate; we are NOT a traditional couple. We cannot seem to explain to other women that we offer an extension of what we already have together - an amazingly trusting, mature, loving but totally non-traditional relationship. We don't live together nor ever will as we love our private space. No-one would dominate, we both want all three of us to be happy but none of us are likely to separate and become a traditional couple. We know it is not problem free but can't even seem to get into the stage of ironing out the problems as there are a lack of women that understand what we are on about... we do not want our cake and be able to eat it too.... we want to cut it up into three and share it equally. I found the definition compersion online and immediately it made sense to both of us... it's what we have and want. The TOTAL opposite of jealousy. That may at times be challenged but right now we want to find out.
I have since experienced being with a woman and totally adored it... I have another date coming up soon which we hope will blossom into what we want .... but it's not an easy path. Does anyone out there have any suggestions? We are to all outer appearances conservative; we love fun in the bedroom but hold a very polite ouside demeanour. Do we need to become outwardly raunchy to attract what we want? Because if that is the case... we are stuck!!! That just won't happen, professionally I need to maintain my conservative public demeanour and my best friend is a conservative man, more from the old school.
So..... questions:
-are there any online groups inn Western Australia that can understand the context in which we live?
-how are others able to find the right woman?
-do others have amazing friendships beyond the usual "couple" paradigm that they extend?
-are there triad supportive dating sites online that I can't seem to find?
-is this all a pipe-dream?
Velvet xxx
