Well here we are, once again exploring the possibilties that poly can bring to enhance and deepen our relationship. When we first met we both had a number of lovers we were in relationship with, and we thought 'well here is another to be part of our life'....that was 6 years ago.
After meeting, supprisingly it became clear to us both, that monogamy was the path for us in the short term. Now we have two kids under 5, a house in the burbs on the Northern Beaches and a desire to create experiences and relationships that lie outside the normal parameters of suburban living.
Having taken the courageous step to acknowledge our appetites and desires outside of each other, and been through the talking and negotiating phase. We now are moving towards creating this new reality. We are looking to connect with another couple and or individuals, who are open to exporing possibilties with us.
Honest, open and clear communication is important for great relationships and we want to meet with others who want to live this too.
We also are looking forward to hanging out and connecting socially with members of the community, with like minded people, who understand where we are coming from and accept our desire to create something diferent in our relationships.
Steve & Jo
Hi all! Love that I'd found this site. I'm a 23 year old, female who currently lives on the Far North Coast of NSW. I am a single mother to a divine 18 month old little girl and I work as a nutritionist. I enjoy being fit and healthy, love to cook, run and swim.
I was raised a Mormon, spent a lot of time living in Utah as a child and saw families practice Polygamy happily. I always liked that idea of living as a community almost!
I'd love to get to know a Polyamory couple/family who are looking for another and would like to have children or more children in the future. As I said I'd like to get to know them, become friends and see where it goes!
Hi there we are looking for a third, We are in newcastle and looking for someone to come join us!
We have 3 kids under 7 and would love more!
We would be keen to Meet a a guy or girl to love!
Give us a messaege
Hello we are a married couple in Sydney south west. Him 48, Her 38. Just feeling our way into this and am very curious about the lifestyle.
Looking forward to meeting others and hopefully form friendships and more.
Anne & Stewart.
Discovered last year that my (female) partner was having an affair with the captain of our CFA brigade that we're both active members of. A bit of a jolt. The issue wasn't her having sex with another man - frankly, and this is a bit embarrassing, I love the thought of her making love to someone else. We've 'swung', but it didn't do much for me. I love to feel a real connection with people that I'm intimate with. But the bit that I did enjoy was watching her with other men and women - ah, divine.
She wants to continue seeing him, and initially said that she would leave me if she couldn't have an open relationship with anyone else that she felt a connection with. She refused to go to counselling initially, but changed her mind after a few months when I said that I wanted to seperate. Since then, we've put the issue on hold while we deal with other parts of life, and she is making a concerted effort to keep me in the relationship.
We'd been through some prior hard moments when I had discovered a few years ago that she had had one-nighters when drunk, and lied about those (and the affair started after a drunken night at a local community event while I was playing Dad at home to our sick 2 year-old daughter). She promised that she would never lie again, and then discovering the affair (it ran for about 6 months before I finally gave into my gut instinct and went looking for proof) knocked the wind out of my sales. That was 8 months ago, and we're moving forward, I think. Didn't help that she didn't use protection when having sex with him - he's in his 60s and apparently things wouldn't work with a love-glove. Not my problem though. Basically taking a risk with my health and life
The other complex element is that he has a partner that he loves (they're both divorced from prior marraiges and have children), but their relationship is not brilliant. His partner doesn't know, and he refuses to tell her under any circumstance - even if I agree to let my partner and him have a relationship. I couldn't lie to my partner like that, and I don't like the idea of becoming a guilty party by effectively condoning that behaviour. I hate the thought that his partner may have to go through the same pain that I did, and still am. I'm just too soft?
He's very much bull-at-gate, takes phone calls when he is in the middle of conversations with his partner (and when he was with mine), very opinionated and right-wing, tends to believe his view on things is the right one. What I'm not. Has had to deal with a lot - he was in Vietnam, divorce, the things you see in the fire brigade, relationship problems etc. And I appreciate that is part of the attraction for my partner - he's different, and that relationship feeds her in a different way, and she loves to reach out and heal people (she's a Naturopath). And she just draws people to her - she is very alive. Sigh.
She says that her relationship with him is like a side-salad, a bonus, and that I'm by far the main course and the dessert. That our relationship is the richest she has ever had. And I believe her. Her best friends have told me that she has told them that I'm the best partner in and out of the bedroom that she has had (and she has had many many dozens of male and female partners in her adult life) - I have no concerns about being out-performed as such.
I love the thought of being able to give her this, but its made hard by the context - them both deceiving me, and then me having to be deceitful as well. If we didn't have a daughter, I'd have saved myself the stress and left the relationship, although I love her so much.
So I'm battling with a lot. I know if I'm honest with myself, that one of my problems is envy - she has a relationship that isn't encumbered by waking up to a daughter several times a night, no chores and other mundane elements of life. Just pure fun. And I'm coming to the thought that I would love to have that too. Trouble is I'm a nice guy, and the women I meet and feel attracted to are always friends first through work, and they're either in committed relationships, or want someone like me for a life partner. Not shared with another woman.
What to do next - how do you meet people that want a connection like that? Maybe that will help me to give my partner what she wants without me feelign like so much of a bastard for being involved in a lie somewhere else.
I'd just like to say hi I'm new here... wanting to meet other like-minded beautiful people in Australia & in Victoria & Country Victoria... and see where the universe & life takes me through all this, so if want to talk & get to know each other I'd love to
Hi all
Would love some feedback.... the other 2 parts of my triad live together as housemates and I am fighting constant feelings of being left out. There was talk about me moving in but now I have been told the house gets too messy when there are three of us and granted it is only a two bedroom place. They each have their own room.
I am fighting with my emotions right now... sexually it's good when we get together but it is really hard to try not to wonder (no matter how they try to tell me there is not intimacy when I am not there) ... I know if I was in the same boat I may not be able to hold myself back. But also intimacy is not just sexual... it is sharing the morning coffee, doing the dishes together, going to family functions.... etc etc
I suppose there is always the possibility I could invite one of them to spend time with me by myself too.. but I live an hour plus away.
Or am I just feeling hormonal? A bit sad and sorry for myself. Not criticising the way things are unfolding but trying to find my mental/emotional position on this. Maybe I am not built of the stuff needed to be the outer third of a triad. We had always said it would be equal but it just doesn't feel like it is. Adore them both but maybe my emotions run too far away with me.
I am finding it very hard to put this into words even in writing... so not sure how I wouold go about discussing it. But I need to I know. But ultimately it comes down to what's going on in my head.
Confused rambling....
The Australian polyamorous community has entered the Sydney Mardi Gras parade first time under its own banner!
It was a complete community effort (replete with kinky fundraising) and we have made a splash!
I'm writing this blog entry as one of the many organisers to let everyone know what we have achieved and to celebrate the growth of our poly community. Sharing is believing ;)
This year’s theme was ’say something’ and we certainly did. First of all we publicly declared our existence. We had a huge ‘POLYAMORY’ banner in front so that revellers of all sorts would notice our identity.
The float’s theme was ‘Polyglamorous’ and we showed that we are a glamorous, cheeky, fun and outrageous lot. We had speech bubbles declaring ‘polyamorists out and proud’ and ‘my girlfriend’s boyfriend thinks you are hot’. We had an awesome sequined truck, up to a hundred gorgeously dressed human bonobos, music and choreography, twirlers and hoops and kinky shenanigans. It’s hard to get noticed in the parade, but I think we definitely showed the crowd that we can celebrate our rich connected lives in style.
Being in the middle of the float where I knew at least 70% of people I can attest to this: you’d have to be an anthropologist to draw all the romantic connections between us all! We don’t just talk, we practice polyamory!
We had whole families marching. We had people from Melbourne, Brisbane, Tasmania, and from regional and rural towns in NSW and Victoria. Next year, when the poly community no doubt will do it all over again, we hope to have people from New Zealand, Perth and beyond.
If you are in Europe, UK, Canada or the USA and you are poly, why not come to Sydney’s Mardi Gras next year? The festival is in late Feb and the parade is on the first Sat of March. Go on the PolyOz Yahoo list or poke around on this website (Mardi Gras section!) and we’ll probably be able to help you couch surf or find a temporary poly home for free.
On the float red and black were the favourite colours, there were many corsets and fetishy dresses, cross-dressing and nudity and bodypainting. All ages, shapes, sizes, orientations etc though the usual bi-poly-kinky triumvirate was in evidence.
There was also a very successful and playful afterparty that we’ll also have to repeat next year, and a pre-party picnic and pub night to welcome visitors. This week we are also having a discussion night with many guests who are staying in town.
Apparently we were also on cable TV and the cameras soaked up our message and glamorous presence. How awesome.
As the poly community in Sydney is growing we are putting on more and more events: bi-monthly discussion nights, monthly socials, dinner parties, camping… playparties, book club, game nights and film nights are also talked about. A poly tv segment will also air on the Australian free-to-air channel SBS in June 2011 as part of a series on love and relationships and community members have featured in articles and have been on radio. We are getting more visible and active.
It is absolutely amazing to be part of such a vibrant, caring, amazing community with so many amazing independent, talented, empathic, connected, pansexual human beings in it. Our float is going to be happening again in 2012!
I look out of my bedroom window down here in country Vic, past the olive trees and down the paddock where the young dairy goats are chomping away at the all too prevalent pasture - rain has kept everything green all summer - and in my little poly heart I know that the beautiful life I am constructing is a good choice. Good for me, good for my planet, good for my kids, good for those I connect with. I am in many ways content with my choice to step away - a little - from the mainstream world and live simply, though country life can occasionally get me down. Chooks have to be fed hangover or no hangover, etc etc.
I've spent years being an open, politically active Bisexual-poly-BDSM-Pagan-man-slut. My keyboard has advised Queerdom, my bedroom door has revolved and revolved - and I'm tired. Not of sex, I love sex, do it with great skill, industrial stamina and considerable charm - but tired of the short term "grab-all-you-can" physical intimacy without meaning that has been my past. I live best in community, not in isolation. At 41, admittedly a shockingly sexy 41, I think I am old enough to say yes or no to whatever I please, based on my experiences rather than fearful moral prejudice. What I am saying yes to these days, is intimate contact that moves in and out of the bedroom with fluidity and a joyful spirit.
I search for poly-pioneers. Yes there is a purpose to this post - I have this little acreage on the outskirts of Albury/Wodonga just a few hours from three capitals. I want to make a little eco-permaculture-community, have for years, as most of the polyfolk who know me from other online and offline places will be aware. On this property is a little old house, where I live and my teenage children live one week in two - and a caravan where my lover lives. We are both Bisexual and poly, but we've drifted apart a little due to many tough circumstances the world decided to fling at us over the last year or so. We will drift back together, though perhaps not with the intensity we had before.
I've owned the place for a decade, lived here on and off as I did and undid various work and community projects. My last "caretaker" virtually destroyed the house and trashed the gardens, and I have been rebuilding, slowly, ever since. The garden is a pretty spectacular permaculture setup - the house hasn't fallen down. I am back forever now, I believe.
The Household is poly-kink-alternative-eco-Queer-sex-art-positive. We host parties every now and again where anything can - and does - happen.
So poly-pioneers - come. Hitch up your covered wagons and let's create. Or send me a message and we'll talk, that might work too.
Love and Light, Robin.
Well things have moved on somewhat since I last blogged and there are now three of us as happy as buttons... or peas in a pod... it's all very new and fresh but so so good. I feel nothing but joy as do we all.... yes Cloud Nine has 3 new residents.
It all came left of field and very unplanned as the best things often do but he we are right now..... wishing everyone else luck and love... so nice to be able to post happy things and not hoide.
Oh details... we are FFM ...and the other girl is jsut so lovely I am a bit smitten already! No jealousy jsut feeling like I have two best friends that I have intimate moments with....ahhhhhhhhhhhhh
Velvet xxxx
